Sabbath Day Woes

"Saturday is a special day, its the day we get ready for Sunday!"

That little primary song has never been more true in all my life as it has the

last almost year & a half.

Every Saturday, all kids are bathed, nails trimmed, church clothes picked

out & laid out (including mine), & church bag & diaper bags are packed.

And most Sundays I'm showered the day or night before. Sometimes,

if I'm daring, I'll wait till that morning & get up extra early before the kiddos

to get ready, which can still push the time & cause me to feel a bit more tired.

Even with all that prep, Sunday mornings can still be chaotic at times & a struggle to still be
on time.

Once in church, we've got two tired babies who's nap time

partially runs into the church time.

Just two more months baby! Til Nursery!

 There's also the funny little moments that can make you laugh in the midst of the crazieness.

For instance . . .

This morning as I sat on the couch dressing a baby for church,

Cole was sitting on the ground by me & says,

"Mommy, do you have monster truck tire track marks

on your legs?!"

Why, yes! It does look like that doesn't it!?

(Who knew I was so fashionably cool by the standards

of my 3 year old?!)

Today was our 1st child's 1st day of Primary!

Cole's been really excited & looking forward to it.

The primary leaders had even brought him in a few weeks ago with a couple of his classmates

for a practice run. In which he did quite well. He got to participate &  be a helper

in sharing time & he sang all the songs.

Yet when it came time to go today (which we'd happily talked it up),

he did NOT want to go!

Despite his tears, we sent him in to sit in the front row with his Sunbeams class.

Jace went down the hall to teach his new Sunday school class & I went

into Gospel Doctrine class with the twins in tote.

After only a few minutes, I hear Cole crying hysterically in the hallway.

I could hear quite well since the Relief Society room & the Primary room are adjacent to each other.

This "wailing" went on for minutes not stop.

I resisted jumping up & going out to settle him down, because I thought,

no, he can learn how to settle down with the help of his teachers. His mom can't & wont'

always be there to be able to help him out.

I also had the twins with me & did not see anyone I knew well enough

in my corner of the room to leave them with.

So, since his sobs were not relenting, I took the train of a stroller out

with me & saw two of the bishopric members sweetly sitting with Cole on the ground

trying to console him.

I managed to settle him down quickly enough with some "breathing exercises"

we do at home, enough to ask him some questions & get some audible

answers out of him.

He finally told me that he was scared.

Hmm? My kid? Scarred?

Pretty much, never!

This was coming from left field!

He was telling me things that, under any ordinary circumstance

he'd never utter, such as,

"I want to go home with you & daddy & brothers".

"I want to go home & go to sleep".

"I want to go to time out".

 So after settling him down & telling him that that was not an option,

we decided that I'd go to Primary & sit with him.

He was o.k. with that! :)

A wonderful sister in the ward was standing near by & offered to take

the twins for me.

Once in Primary, he was calm & happy. But half way through, he started to get upset

& say that he wanted to go back to Nursery while they were transitioning onto

something else. One of the leaders took him so I could leave.

And probably half the ward is well aware of Coles Primary struggles today - no joke.

My kid,  was the only one today who had such an outright struggle with

the change.

He's not normally a scared or shy kid, so this surprised both Jace & I.

We've thought that perhaps it was just a lot for him to take in with such a big primary group

since he's used to smaller groups of kids.

Once in Sunday School, with a little snack, he did great they say! He brought

home that day's lesson drawings & even told us at dinner how

"Pinky the Pig" is scared when it gets loud in class & hides, & will only come

out when its quite.  And he was more than happy to talk about Sunday School.

Needless to say, we're praying that next Sunday goes a lot smoother for him.

As I was sitting her at the computer waiting for some pictures to upload, I was reading this new book

I got for Christmas from my mother-in-law entitled, "Contentment, Inspiring Insights for LDS Mothers"

by Maria Covey Cole. And happened to be reading at that moment about the comparisons

we make with our selves & others particularly regarding church time. And I thought,

how fitting.

So I thought I'd share.

Sis. Cole says, " Many of us feel insecure & compare ourselves with others when we attend church each Sunday. Other families seem so put together & in control, & we often get the impression that ours is not one of these families. This perspective can leave us feeling discontented & discouraged.

I remember being in sacrament meeting on one particular occasion when the young family in front of us was sitting perfectly still without any books, crayons, or coloring notebooks to keep the kids occupied. Meanwhile, my kids were taking turns crawling under the benches, dumping crayons all over the floor, & teasing one another. What's wrong with me & my family? I wondered silently. A short while later, I again felt like a failure as I watched four perfectly dressed & groomed children ( in outfits made by their mother, I might add) stand & play a beautifully prepared musical number - all on stringed instruments. "I can barely get my kids to practice their piano lessons a few times a week," I lamented.

One woman, a young mother of six boys expressed to me how exhausting Sundays are for her. To avoid being judged for having "too many" children, she feels that her family has to look perfect & behave properly each week to give the appearance of being well-managed & under control. By the time she gets home from church, however, she is utterly worn out from the effort of maintaining this facade, which she concedes is far from reality.

It's safe to say that most  women actually feel this same way- whether it be because their children do not seem to be reverent as the children in the next pew, or because their family doesn't seem quite as put together as the next-door neighbors. It is also safe to say that if we base our feeling of self0worth on any source other than the quality of our hearts & our identity as daughters of God, we are basing it on a very shaky footing.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland warned us to beware of "our culture's obsession with comparing, competing , & never feeling we are 'enough'." This often flows, he pointed out, from our own negative thinking about ourselves. "We see our own faults, we speak-or at least think- critically of ourselves, & before long that is how we see everyone & everything" ("The Tongue of Angels," Ensign, May 2007, 17). This comparison mentality is not only damaging to our self-esteem; when we allow ourselves to feel inadequate, we are literally undervaluing our divine worth.

All women have struggles of which we are often not aware. Some struggle with infertility, others with wayward children, others with depression or a troubled marriage. Yet we typically only see these woman at their Sunday best, & if we were to judge them by appearances or compare our lot with theirs, we would truly end up with a distorted picture of reality.

Thank heaven for the inspired counsel of our latter-day prophets & Apostles. Elder M. Russell Ballard reminded us:

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills & abilities, & certainly different children. The choice is different & unique for each mother & each family. Many are able to be "full-time moms," at least during the most formative years of their children's lives, & many others would love to be. Some may have to work part - or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home & family & work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply &, in keeping with the devotion she has for God & her husband, prioritized them above all else. ("Daughters of God," Ensign, May 2008, 108)

It seems to me, that Sundays are definitely full of learning opportunities & experiences! One of which is to learn for me

that there truly is a "time & a season" for everything.

I long for the days to be able to savor & drink in the entire church block; from being able to peacefully take in the Sacrament

all the way down till the end of the Relief Society lesson uninterrupted, let alone be aware of someone else in need, but for now, I try to remember that I am teaching & training

up little men how to be reverent so they too can learn to listen for the spirit to touch

their hearts with something that they may be needing to hear or learn or see how to meet

the need of another.

So therefore, I make concerted efforts during my week to listen to talks from the brethren, General Conference, Church Education Week, the BYU channel, or anything "lovely or of good report or praiseworthy" that  I can get my hands on while I'm folding laundry, getting ready for the day, sometimes in the car(if we're not all enjoying preschool songs:), or any other monotonous daily task to fit it in

anywhere that I can. Now, this isn't all the time & some days more than others, but I try to make it a habit.

I think it helps with my sanity to listen to & learn from someone who speaks about more

than toys, snacks, & kid shows.

I look at it as my "education" that I'm getting right now. Although not formal,

I've felt very satisfied in learning a variety of things pertinent to my life & the gospel

 right now at this point in my life.

Oh, the day in the life of a "Sunday Goer".