I 1st heard of this book way back in April at a Quarterly Enrichment Relief Society night. The whole evening had to do with marriage & dating your husband. One of the sisters teaching one of the classes discussed the "5 Do's & Don'ts" of "Wife hood", which intrigued me & was fantastic. During the class she stated that she has read & reread & reread this book. And you could tell from the wear & tear of it.
So, a few days later, I went on line & ordered it for pretty cheap! (Try: half.com) I also ordered with it a few other books I'd been eyeing as well. So unfortunately, it got set aside for a time to focus on a couple of other great books.
It takes me quite sometime these days to get through a book, since finding quite reading time can be hard to come by these days with the little munchkins! :) However, when I "re found" this book about 2 weeks ago, I've had a hard time putting it down! I was going through a tall stack of books in our room that I was organizing & came to this book in the stack.
The only way I can describe this insatiable need to share this book with other woman is the feeling people get when they believe so much in the Gospel & just want to share their testimony of it with everyone around them because you want them to be as happy as you have felt!
I have highlighted & made notes in the margins & learned so much already that I want/need to do/ start doing again.
O.k. So the tittle of this book is quite cute & funny. This book is actually, about becoming a BETTER & WISER WIFE. Which can start from the moment you read the very 1st chapter.
Whether you've been married 1 month or 50 years, this book is oh so beneficial! AND! I'll add those woman who are of the "marrying age" & thinking about it or are engaged. (There are things in this book that I'd wished I'd known from the start!)
Whether you've been married 1 month or 50 years, this book is oh so beneficial! AND! I'll add those woman who are of the "marrying age" & thinking about it or are engaged. (There are things in this book that I'd wished I'd known from the start!)
So without further adieu, I will share some of my favorite excerpts of the book with you that I LOVE!
Wifehood "Don't" # 1 : Don't put other people before him.
The Lord commanded us to cleave unto our spouse & none else (D&C 42:22). Of this commandment, President Spencer W. Kimball taught: "The words none else eliminate everyone & everything. . .
A husband or wife who places children, friends, careers, hobbies, or church callings before the marital relationship is "in direct violation of the command: None else."
Quiz : Are you married to Your Husband or Your Kids?
True or False
- Do your children stay up past 9:00 or 9:30pm in the main family area? (Or, if you have older teenagers, do you have separate places where they can go so you can have alone time?)
- Do you go out with your hubby, without kids, at least three times a month?
- Have you been gone overnight without your kids & with your husband within the past year?
- Think about the last time you bought your kids a treat- do you buy your hubby a treat just as often?
- Analyze your conversations with hubby when it's just the two of you-do you spend more than 50 percent of the time discussing the kids?
Wifehood "Don't" #3 : Don't speak ill of your husband.
A husband's name & reputation are sacred things. Treating our husbands w/ respect & extending that respect to protecting their privacy are crucial to being a smart wife.
" . . . what a refreshing change to hear woman who by & large are complimentary of their husbands & speak highly of them. (not husband-bashing)."
Think about it. How would you feel if he talked about you the way you talk about him?
What we are doing is allowing our husbands the privacy to change & improve. There are things that we used to do as wives months or years ago that we no longer do. We have changed. We have hopefully improved. By keeping quiet to others about our husband's failings, we allow him that space & time to change & improve as well.
Wifehood "Don't" #5 : Don't kill what worked at the beginning of the marriage.
Ex. Getting fixed up.
In the beginning of the marriage, & indeed throughout your courtship, you looked good. A lot! You knew that you would never attract a husband if you looked lousy.
[Merrillee's moms "Best Advice # 7"]
"He's surrounded by babes at work. He doesn't want to come home to a slug." Think about it. Wherever your husband is, he sees women who take care of themselves. They had to dress up to go to work. They look good. But he comes home to you. What does he find?
All those things that worked in the beginning of the marriage will work now. So take time to look good. Talk a lot. Go do the fun stuff you used to do. Compliment him. Flirt with him. Spend time with him.
Wifehood "Do" # 1 : Do honor your parents.
One important way is to keep them out of your marriage intimacy. President Kimball expressed this well: "You love them more than ever; you cherish their counsel; you appreciate their association, but you live your own lives." Good advice from a prophet.
We need to honor our parents' privacy & our own. This requires a clear boundary between the two marriages. You should not confide private, marital things to your parents (and frankly, they should not discuss theirs with you!). Honor them by not burdening them with your petty complaints about your husband & your marriage. Respect them enough to keep quite.
Wifehood "Do" # 3 : Do value yourself.
What is one times one? That's right. It equals one!
One full partner with one full partner equals true oneness in the marriage. Now, what is one times zero?
Yup. It equals zero. So what does this mean? It means if you treat yourself as a big fat zero in the relationship, nothing good will be the result.
The best wife is a true person. She develops her own unique gifts & abilities & is constantly evolving & growing.
It is the duty of each woman to come to know & accept & enjoy being herself.
One of the greatest mistakes wives make is to stop growing. They tend to mistakenly conclude that they snagged their man & can now coast to the celestial kingdom. Actually, that wedding is only the very first baby step in a series of steps that will lead you there. Now is not the time to sit down. It is the time to value yourself.
Wifehood "Do" # 5 : Do value your commitment.
A dear friend said to me one day, "I want the same testimony of my marriage as I do of the Church."
The seriousness & importance of our marriage cannot be taken lightly.
Realize that your husband is you eternal companion. Learn to look at him that way.
Elder Lynn G. Robbins sums this up: "Scripturally, the Lord is very clear with us on this doctrine - you can't 'fall out of love,' because love is something you decide. Agency plays a fundamental role in our relationships with one another. This being true, we must make the conscious decision that we will love our spouse & family with all our heart, soul, & mind; that we will build, not 'fall into,' strong, loving marriages & families. 'Don't just pray to marry the one you love, Instead, pray to love the one you marry'.
One of my favorite lines from this book is, "I want the same testimony of my marriage as I do of the Church."
This book has changed the way I view my role as a Wife, a person, as a whole & my marriage as a whole.
Since reading this book I have strived to remember these little everyday things that I can do to improve myself & keep my marriage strong & growing.
You really can be madly in love with your husband for years to come! (even if their not perfect! :)
Even if your marriage is great, there is still things to be learned in this book or reminded of or great ideas to be gained.
While reading this book, I've realized that there are things that I can definitely improve upon as a wife for the livelihood of my marriage.
I love my husband dearly & am grateful for the 6 years we've had together to learn & grow through the ups & downs. Our marriage has especially bloomed to something greater than ever before in the last 2 years.
I believe there really is something to the need of being on your own & having to really rely on each other for strength. It brings you closer together.
I share these truths with you, that have been shared with me, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
